{"id":148,"date":"2009-01-20T13:26:43","date_gmt":"2009-01-20T19:26:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thedailyleaf.su\/?p=148"},"modified":"2020-01-03T06:40:07","modified_gmt":"2020-01-03T12:40:07","slug":"the-longest-cigarette","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thedailyleaf.com\/?p=148","title":{"rendered":"The Longest Cigarette"},"content":{"rendered":"\t<audio id=\"wp_mep_1\" src=\"adi\/uktu.mp3\"     controls=\"controls\" preload=\"none\" autoplay=\"tru\" >\r\n\t\t\r\n\t\t\r\n\t\t\r\n\t\t\r\n\t\t\r\n\t\t\r\n\t\t\r\n\t<\/audio>\r\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\">\r\njQuery(document).ready(function($) {\r\n\t$('#wp_mep_1').mediaelementplayer({\r\n\t\tm:1\r\n\t\t\r\n\t\t,features: ['playpause','current','progress','duration','volume','tracks','fullscreen']\r\n\t\t,audioWidth:400,audioHeight:30\r\n\t});\r\n});\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n<p>Crashing into my apartment onto my knees, I held a clenched fist over my chest, I must be having a heart attack. I&#8217;m in a panic, choking for air, coughing, punching my chest &#8220;goddammit work!&#8221;, but alas air refuses to enter.<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->I began to crawl along the floor, pulling myself in pain across to the table where luckily my codeine addiction has left painkillers strewn across a new coffee table of mine. I put my hand up on the table, took a handful of pills, and dropped 2 or 3 into my mouth, chewing frantically, swallowing bits of opiates, praying that the last of my sins be forgiven.<\/p>\n<p>And there I lay, rolling over looking into a flashing stereo clock, 5:45am. Pressing for contacts on my phone, I&#8217;m grieving now, &#8216;please someone pick up&#8217;, he does.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I think&#8221;, there&#8217;s a cough of blood on my shirt sleeve, &#8220;I think I&#8217;m having a heart attack&#8221;, there&#8217;s an intermittent silence, &#8220;I need to go to the hospital&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>I hear an awakening sigh of discomfort from the earpiece, &#8220;Call someone else, I&#8217;m sleeping&#8221; , and a click from the line.<\/p>\n<p>My eyes are beginning to roll into the back of my head at this point, I&#8217;m yelling at myself internally to relax, maybe I&#8217;m over exaggerating this whole mess? Pulling my laptop down onto the floor from the couch above my head, I log into my instant messenger account. No Joke.<\/p>\n<p>Someone has to be online at this hour, right? For the love of god, I need help at this point, I&#8217;m praying there will be someone near me, someone who will get their sorry ass up and drag me into their backseat so I can get to the ER. Leave me at the front door, I don&#8217;t care at this point.<\/p>\n<p>I poke around, all these fucking assholes with their screen names tied to their cellphones, and not one person out of the 20 or so I frantically yell a &#8220;Help!&#8221; to, will answer. I am at the point of giving up at this point, maybe this is it, maybe the light will come soon.<\/p>\n<p>Then there&#8217;s the familiar sound of a door opening, someone has come online. Jenn. &#8220;HELP&#8221;, I force out into the keyboard, with a slight hesitation I pound on the &#8216;return&#8217; key. For a moment, there is no response, my heart sinks further into pain, when suddenly &#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Help?&#8221;, she is confused, she probably thinks I&#8217;m out of my drunken mind, it is after all 6am on a sunday morning at this point.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I think I&#8217;m dying&#8221;, again pounding on the &#8216;return&#8217; key.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You&#8217;re always dying&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;This isn&#8217;t a joke, I think I am having a heart attack&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Jenn is typing a response&#8217;, the entry flashes on my screen for a good 3 minutes, I can tell she&#8217;s hesitating with her response, &#8220;seriously?&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>At this point, the codeine is slipping into my blood, the aspirin tied together with those pills begins calming my chest, and my bloodshot eyes start to relax, &#8220;Seriously.&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>I decided at this point, that I had lost the game. I pulled a pen from my pocket and carved into the wood on my couch leg, &#8220;I loved you&#8230;&#8221;, and fell shortly into sleep.<\/p>\n<p>Hallucinations poured over my eyes, voices of dead relatives, laughter of ex girlfriends, hands slipping away from my own&#8230; There was no light at the end of the tunnel, only darkness&#8230;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-151\" title=\"img_0192\" src=\"http:\/\/thedailyleaf.su\/wp-content\/uploads\/img_0192-1024x768.jpg\" alt=\"img_0192\" width=\"500\" height=\"300\"><\/p>\n<p>I awoke in the hospital, looking down at my wrists wrapped in gauze, surrounded by nurses. Immediately my chest began to pound with more pain than I have ever experienced in my life, my senses returned sharply, and with every bit of energy I could pull from my body I screamed, &#8220;IT HURTS&#8221;. My eyes again rolling into the back of my head, I went into shock and blacked out.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\n<div id=\"attachment_49\" style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-49\" class=\"size-full wp-image-49\" title=\"Blur\" src=\"http:\/\/thedailyleaf.su\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/08\/img_0270.jpg\" alt=\"Just one more wish\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\"><p id=\"caption-attachment-49\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Just one more wish<\/p><\/div>\n<p>At last, I woke in a hospital room, the beeps of a heart monitor at first distant then nearer until light slipped into the cracks of my eyelids. The first thing I saw was a tube running from my side full of blood, and intense sharp pain running through my chest.<\/p>\n<p>A nurse was next to me writing diagnostics from the monitors into a tablet, and with dry cracked lips I managed to let out a soft, &#8220;what.. what happened?&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Euphoria slipped into my blood, morphine, momentarily draining out the intense pain that pulsed throughout my body, &#8220;You had a lung collapse, two holes burst open, we&#8217;ve put two staples into your right lung&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>The first thought that poured through my mind, &#8216;Aw shit&#8217;, followed by an intense feeling of loneliness as I realized that the one I loved was nowhere to be seen.<\/p>\n<p>Alone in a hospital room, tubes running every which way from me, pain pulsing through my body, on the brink of death, she&#8217;s nowhere to be seen.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Crashing into my apartment onto my knees, I held a clenched fist over my chest, I must be having a heart attack. I&#8217;m in a panic, choking for air, coughing, punching my chest &#8220;goddammit work!&#8221;, but alas air refuses to enter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thedailyleaf.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thedailyleaf.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thedailyleaf.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thedailyleaf.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thedailyleaf.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=148"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/thedailyleaf.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":845,"href":"https:\/\/thedailyleaf.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148\/revisions\/845"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thedailyleaf.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=148"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thedailyleaf.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=148"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thedailyleaf.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=148"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}